In a bold move, the City of Johns Creek has decided to eliminate the cause of complaints from many of its residents: traffic lights; and install traffic circles at every intersection.
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"It's the wave of the future, Millennials love them", said Mike Bodker, the Mayor of Johns Creek. "We are also able to bring art to the public at the same time. Each circle will have a vibrant work of art on display in the center. We must provide the types of sculptures that will draw the Millennials to our City."
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Tom Black, the City's Public Works director said "It's a win-win for us as the Federal government will foot the bill for all of these circles, because of the enhanced safety for our residents".
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"At a cost of $1 million plus for each intersection, it's really a small price to pay", said Black. It will take $343 million dollars to complete this goal. "It's way cheaper than MARTA", said Black.
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A small but vocal group of citizens spoke out against the traffic circles and asked for data that supports the idea that they were indeed safer, citing a number of rear end collisions at already existing intersections.
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"Those folks are against everything", said Mayor Bodker. "They are not traffic engineers. We have always trusted our staff. Traffic may be much slower, and we'll have a few more rear end collisions. But that is nothing compared to the challenge of timing those damn traffic lights".
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"All of the world's greatest cities have traffic circles, and Johns Creek is no exception", Bodker said proudly.
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Happy April 1st ;-)
Good one! You got me! (Probably not the last time I'll be an April Fool today)
If today wasn't April 1st.... I'd almost take this article seriously!!!
This is funny. What is sad is the truth. City proposed 5 round-a-bouts for Barnwell Road. We do not want any over here!
Excellent April fools prank. How fun.
I am laughing so hard, I am crying. Great work! I agree - if it weren't April 1st, I could have taken it seriously! Hahahahahahaha!
Good! I hate those. Good joke!!
and a great April Fool's Day to you..back at yah!!! Good going!
Those recent accidents are frightening!!! Oh and more cops are needed to put a halt to texting on the road!!! These people are holding up a ton of traffic!!!! They are busy looking at phone when there is enough space for 10 cars in front of them! Then they get mad if you honk or wave your finger in a "no no" sign. If you look a the plates on SBR, most of them belong to Gwinnett County. What are they doing to contribute to this fixing this issue, financially! Forget the roundabouts!
In addition to roundabouts, the city has approved the tunnel idea to connect Old Alabama to State Bridge. The project completion date is scheduled for November/2116. That is, if wet soil isn't encountered in areas where the soil is wet. If so, expect project delays. A new city staff will show compliance with HUD mandates linked to Federal funds.
Hahahahahahahahaha - laughing so hard I fell out of my chair!!
These April Fools jokes piss me off :(
My blood boils before I catch on. Well-played! ;))